


Leave Me Alone!

by Spike_1790



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spike_1790/pseuds/Spike_1790
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Dear Diary. Angel (& Cordy) write to Spike & Xander. (implied Spike/Angel(us))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Me Alone!

Dear ~~My idiot Childe~~ Spike and ~~the pain in my ass~~ Xander,  
  
Thank you so much for delivering the potion we needed. However, as it was your fault I lost my temper and broke the bottle, I am sending you the dry cleaning bill (see attatched). Also, I wasn't brooding. I was seething with anger. There's just something about seeing you that brings Angelus to the surface. Be glad I was able to control myself!  
  
Spike, you were never in my bed long enough to scream, as I recall. And even if you had been, I wouldn't have let you make any noise simply because your fake cockney accent irritates me so much. Oh, actually, thinking about it, I'll amend that; apart from the one drunken night we shared, nothing ever happened. EVER. I still haven't forgiven you for laughing and asking 'if it was in yet' then passing out. That was just insulting. Then again, I suppose you have first hand knowledge of how it feels- I bet Harris laughed the first time he saw you naked.  
  
If I happen to have pleasured myself, that's none of your business. Your brain might be too small to understand this, but I can do that without feeling guilty. Besides, Xander's grown up into a stunning man. If he ever decides he's bored of you and wants a real vampire, he knows where to find me (Cordelia proof read this for me, and told me to tell you that THIS WAS A JOKE! There's no way I could keep my sanity with Harris around).  
  
I am also sending you the bill for my therapy for seeing you two doing... that... in my hotel. Whilst on the subject of therapy, you will be paying for Cordelia's too. She was the one who took me to hospital to get my hand unstuck from my dick.  
  
You have one week to pay up before I personally come to Sunnydale to retrieve the money.  
  
 ~~Please never visit again~~ Best wishes,  
  
Angel  
  
***  
  
Dear Xander,  
  
Please keep your pet vampire out of my boss' city. I have seen things I never want to see again, and its all your boytoy's fault! I will be in therapy for the rest of forever.  
  
Say hey to the Scooby gang for me,  
  
Cordy :)  
  
P.s. I had to tell Wes that stain on the lobby couch was ice cream. You owe me big time, mister!  



End file.
